More Stuff Brock Says

Hey there everyone. Here's some more stuff from Brock. 

8/4: Brock was playing with a train set and a caribou. More accurately, Brock was the train, and I was the caribou. I wanted to ride the train, but Brock was having none of it. "Do you see that sign over there? It says 'NO caribous allowed!'" Pointing to and reading imaginary signs has become one of Brock's favorite ways to make rules. 

"Do you see that sign up there? It says 'NO more tickles!'" 

"Do you see that sign over there? It says 'NO broccoli!'"

It has infinite uses. 

So caribou got left behind at the station and Brock-train played by himself in the corner for a while. Then Brock-train came back to the station and said one of the most specifically articulate and honest things I've ever heard. 

"I came back because I wanted you to see me. I came back because I wanted you to talk to me." 

I'm sure he'll eventually learn to shorten up and redirect these phrases like the rest of us. 

8/4: Brock was talking to and as Murray. It was a one man show. The following is all spoken by Brock.

Murray: I threw up in my sleep.

B: Oh no.

M: Oh no, I threw up again!

B: Murray, why do you keep throwing up all the time?

M: Because I like it!! (laughter)

B: (Picks up blanket) Look at all this throw-up! There must be like... twenty throw-up in there.

8/7:

"And then another spike came down from the air and crushed open farmer. Look at all the juice inside farmer! It's spilling everywhere."

8/11: Brock was running the ice cream stand. I asked him to serve me bowl. 

B: You get chocolate... and vanilla... and strawberry.

Me: You know, Brock, they call that Neapolitan ice cream. 

B: Well I call it... hmmmmmmm... three-ice-creams-at-a-time!!

8/17: This was my first or second time taking Brock to his swimming class. Holly used to take him but we switched days/times/teachers when school started. Brock was really unhappy about all the changes and was just super nervous the whole time we got ready. As we sat in the waiting area for the last five minutes before class I could feel the dread building in him. He was looking around frantically for a way out. 

B: Daddy. I have to go potty.

(I wasn't buying it.)

M: Brock, we were just in the potty changing and you didn't have to go.

B: It's a poo poo.

(Still not buying it.)

M: Brock do you really have to poop, or are you just trying to get out of swimming right now? 

(As an aside, this happened during the glorious three weeks in which you could count on Brock to answer such a question truthfully.) 

B: No, I definitely have that funny feeling in my butt. It's poo poo. 

It was. 

8/18:

"Try this. It's called salt cream powder bananas with cilantro ice cream."

8/20: On the drive to Marengo.

"Are grandma and grandpa waiting for this cute guy to come?"

8/28: We'd had a terribly grumpy morning with lots of crying. Thankfully, an afternoon swim class successfully cheered him up. We were walking to the car. 

B: Daddy, I'm not going to cry anymore.

M: Well Brock, it's ok to cry sometimes, like when you're sad or hurt. 

B: Today was the laaaaaaaaast time. I'm never crying again. 

(nearly made it 24 hours, in case you were wondering)

8/31:

B: Daddy, do you like me?

(We get this question ALL THE TIME. He knows the answer, of course, but loves hearing it.)

M: Yes Brock. I love you. 

B: Daddy?

M: Yes?

B: I'm the only one that really likes you.

9/3: In our collections of old kids books we have a couple P.J. Funnybunny stories. One of them is great. The other one, "The Very Bad Bunny," is terrible. The basic premise is P.J. does some terrible things and gets in trouble. But then his cousin comes over and unleashes a never-ending barrage of even-more-terrible behavioral ideas for toddlers. Then the cousin leaves. Then they all shrug off P.J.'s behavior with a, "at least you're not THAT bunny." He seems to have lost interest, but for a few afternoons we played "bad bunny" with his duplos set, which has a brown bunny just like P.J.'s cousin. The game is basically bunny throwing stuff on "Guy." (That's what Brock calls the duplo men. The girl is named "Lady.")

"I am throwing garbage on Guy!"

"I am throwing poop on Guy!"

"I am throwing pee on Guy!"

"I am throwing grossness on Guy!"

 ""I am throwing lemon juice on Guy!""

"I am throwing pancakes with syrup on Guy!"

Ok. I'll explain. In the book, P.J.'s cousin puts pancake syrup all over the furniture. Brock always says (maybe hears?) "pancakes with syrup" though. So "pancakes with syrup" was bad for a while. Eventually Brock ran out of gross ideas and just started looking around the room for any ideas and rambling them off.

"Then I throw car... tomato pepper... door... duplo... wall...shoe...stroller train..... chicken... blanket juice on him! GROSS!!!!!"

(yeah. I can see my finger on the lens too. just realize that if i'd have cropped all these, this blog would have been out literally minutes later. so enjoy all the time I saved us;) 

9/3: Brock was pushing Murray around in his toy bus. I was playing the toy farmer, and trying to get Brock to let me on the bus. 

Farmer: Is Murray driving the bus?

B: No. Murray is in the back. No one is driving.

F: Can I drive then? You need a driver.

B: No. I don't like drivers. This car has automatic sensors that tell it where to go. See...

...and he drove away. Driverless cars just make sense to three-year-olds. 

9/11:

B: Look at all my magic toys! They all have sparkles.

M: Oooooohhhh. What kind of magic can they do?

B: They can sparkle a lot. 

9/14: We were balancing toys on the thin plastic support beams of Brock's Thomas train set. They were nearly full, and the spot remaining had a short peg sticking up that made everything tip off. Then Brock a true eureka moment and ran to the shelf for toy farmer. 

"Farmer could sit there. He has a lady-butt, see?"

He then turned farmer over and showed me the concave depression in the soles of farmer's shoes. I have no idea where Brock came up with lady-butt. Somehow I didn't die laughing immediately, so it hasn't calcified in his lexicon. I tell you what though, that lady-butt kept farmer safely perched on the most perilous of rafters. 

9/15: Brock has definitely started lying. I was a pretty prolific liar in my day, so I expected it. In a way I'm proud that he at least thinks he can trick us. But so far the attempts are adorably pathetic. The first this day was as we were driving home. Brock kept asking me to unscrew his water bottle so he could drink from it like a cup. I told him I wouldn't do it until we were home, which was soon. By the time I pulled into the garage and turned around, the lid was on the floor and he'd drank all the water without spilling. I was simply impressed. He'd never unscrewed a cap without significant "starting it" from us. 

M: Brock, did you open this water bottle?

B: No. The lid just fell off.

M: Brock I'm not upset. I'm impressed. 

B: I did it. 

Later that night we were having a pants struggle in the bathroom .Brock was well potty trained at this point but we'd been too full-service with the undressing and dressing. After learning to physically pull down his own pants, it remained a power struggle. So here we were in a standoff, no one reaching for his waistband. 

B: I can't do it.

M: Brock, I know you can do this. I've seen you do this many times.

B: But.. (frantically looking around) today...(more looking) my.......hands don't work. 

To his credit, he did try to sell not having functional hands for a good minute. 

9/18:

"Daddy, what company made you?"

9/20: Brock was playing with/as two rubber snakes. I was farmer again. Brock was using a convincing whispery snake voice. 

"Let's go eat a farmer."

They then came over and at me.

"It's OK farmer. Don't stay mad. You were delicious."

9/21: Brock was leading me on a path around the playground structures.

B: So first you go up the stairs and it's called "uppy stairsy." Then you slide down the tube.

M: What's that called?

B: It's called, "sliding down."... It's not a very good name.  

9/24: Brock and I were eating together. 

B: Can I get some more water honey?

M: Haha.

B: Are you honey?

M: No, I'm daddy.

B: Mommy calls you honey. You're honey. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

10/1: It was our anniversary, Brock was asking about what marriage was. I tried to keep it simple.

M: Marriage is a promise when you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You live in the same house with them and hang out all the time. Someday, when you grow up, you'll find someone you want to marry. 

B: (Thinking about it for a while.) I want to marry mommy and daddy. 

10/18: It was swim class day and Brock and I were standing in a short line for the bathroom. Brock raised his finger at pointed at the kid in front of us.

B: Daddy, why is his face brown? 

Oh crap. I did NOT have my script ready for this one yet. Why am I nervous all of a sudden? It's a simple question. Here goes. 

M: Well people come in all kinds of shades and colors Brock. 

Black kid in line: Yep, it's true!

Brock: Why are his arms brown?

M: It works the same way as faces. People come in different shades. 

BKiL: Yeah! I'm brown all over!!

I was thinking about how I had just hit the first-public-racial-discussion jackpot with this kid, but Brock was clearly pondering something else. 

B: When will I turn brown? 

11/1: Brock and I were on a teeter-totter; one of the new ones that's just a bunch of springs so no one can ever drop. I was leaning all the way into the back of my seat to bounce, and Brock was disappointed in his inability to touch the back of his seat. 

B: Why can't I lean back Daddy?

M: Well your arms are just shorter than mine Brock. But don't worry, they will get longer.

B: Really?

M: Yeah. Your arms will get longer and your legs will get longer. It's all part of growing up. 

B: (You can see the light bulb go off in his head. Huge smile) Will my penis get longer?

M: Yes. It will. 

B: Will it get as big as that tree?

M: No